Okay, so I haven’t been logging or eating the cleanest. I’ve been going out and drinking.. I’ve wasted so many weeks! But that’s okay. Slowly but surely I will get to my goal. I definitely do need some motivation. I bought two pairs of jeans in size 7-8 and 6. I’m going to weigh in tomorrow and start a countdown to 140 lbs. I’ll figure out a $ amount for each pound because I’m going to celebrate/reward myself by doing something that I would never ever do…. Sky dive! I am terribly afraid of heights, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I do love the thrill. I like roller coasters! Even if I am afraid. I think the reason I’m afraid is because in my mind, I’m still 300 lbs.. I could still break a ride or not fit in it. But I think I’m going to do this!!!! I mean I will!!!!
Last night, a guy told me something like, “You don’t look like the type of girl who would be into deep fried food.” I almost got offended because I thought he was being mean, but I know he wasn’t. My fat girl defense mode…
- me: this isn't working. i'm going to always be fat.
- me: i can kind of see the progress!
- me: omg i'm still fat.
- me: i'm actually kind of skinny...
- me: WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING!?